lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize