I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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