On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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