Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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