i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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