; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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