He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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