I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
