Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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