I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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