She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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