yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What the fuck dude?
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"