Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
