Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize