I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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