is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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