I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
