Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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