it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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