we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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