3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
did you just send me my own nude
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
