Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
