you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize