Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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