You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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