i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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