The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize