Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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