As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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