Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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