Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
