very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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