The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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