Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
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How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake