You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal