My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
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N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.