Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.