I think I am morally bankrupt
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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