I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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