google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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