haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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