I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
