so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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