he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
