Your tits are I can't wait for
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Houston, we have a squirter
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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