I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
