So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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