Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.