I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.