At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just threw up on my dentist
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.