mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend