I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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