Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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