I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
