I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity