it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16