Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk