How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.