Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.