My room smells like vodka and shame
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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